3-Color Gradient Background

Paprika Xu

Designer / growing gardens in Lutruwita / aural, somatic, poetic / part of Common而間, a small workers co-operative that reads books and makes softwares / previously led product design at Canva / always becoming / once a tumble leaf

回忆模糊推演 A Bleary Elapse

Accompanying text for Mindexxx’s debut LP A Bleary Elapse
Label: Eating Music
Original text: Mindexxx
Translation: Paprika

with certain details, I feel
you really cast off the old
and into the new
traveled in earnest
where dewdrops crumbled in the sky
and you smiled in uncertainty
brainwaves quivered softly
dancing still
till a flash of deja vu
amorous piano notes spilled out sternly
in the faraway place
I stood watching
on the park road
people kept on moving
till a moment of pivot
how do I traverse all spaces
with more spaces in between
unreachable, tempting
on that day when cars came and went
sunbeams through the leaves, young and harsh
electric drill and the dust, bus station and me
scrambling crowd
pushing everything out
this happiness in tumult
that came from a whisper
nowhere to find but the depth of a ghostly night
I must dive into the waterfall
a piece of danger in my history, my bleary elapse
in the foggy end
spent an hour facing my own eventual judgement
I've always curled up dry
and lived in humidity
frothing, bubbling up in steamy vapor
my fragrant body
inevitably entangled in water snakes
didn't know if we fought, or embraced
nevertheless exhaustingly
thought I was still standing
perhaps this explained the gradual silence
low buzz coming from the weight of life
head to toe
passing through me
with no trace of tingles down my spine
and I fell
might it be that on the precipice the light went on
the supposedly unbearable voltage
brought me peace
might I be dead, or dying
looking above adamantly
laying down in silence
amongst the cracks of all calm facades
twirled the rumbling order
how long is now?
on this endless summer day
my memory rolled, a bleary elapse