3-Color Gradient Background

Paprika Xu


Designer / once led product design at Canva / now part of Common 而間, a small co-op with heart / growing a root in exile, tending gardens in Lutruwita / sensing threshold, whirls me in common spirals / remembering breath, a short talk of faith
Bandcamp
Instagram
Are.na
Email



回忆模糊推演 A Bleary Elapse


Debut album of Mindexxx (Eating Music)



An Interpretation

with certain details, I feel
you really cast off the old
passed into the new
traveled in earnest
where dewdrops crumbled in the sky
you smiled in uncertainty
brainwaves quivered softly
dancing still
till a flash of deja vu
amorous piano notes spilled out
sternly, in the faraway place
I stood watching
on the park road              people kept on moving
until a moment of pivot / how do I traverse
all spaces with more spaces
in between
unreachable, tempting
on that day when cars came and went
sunbeams through the leaves, young and harsh
electric drill and dusts / bus station and me
scrambling crowd
pushing everything               out
this happiness in tumult
that came from a whisper
found in nowhere but the depth of a ghostly night
I must dive into the waterfall
a piece of danger in my history, my bleary elapse
in the fog's end
spent an hour facing my own eventual judgement
I've always curled up dry
and lived in humidity
frothing, bubbling up in steamy vapor
my fragrant body
inevitably entangled with water snakes
didn't know if we fought,
or embraced, nevertheless
in exhaustion
thought I was still standing
perhaps this explained the gradual silence
low buzz coming out of the weight of life
head to toe
passing me through
with no trace of tingles down my spine
and I fell
might it be on that precipice the light went on
such supposedly unbearable voltage
brought me peace
might I be dead? or dying
looking above adamantly
uncertain silence
I laid down
amongst the cracks of all calm facades
twirled the rumbling order
how long is now?
on this endless summer day
my memory rolled,
a bleary elapse




Original Text by Mindexxx

一些细节让我感到,你真的摆脱了,进入一个新世界,认真地游离其中,看到天上有露珠瓦解,你会笑着感到疑惑,脑波轻柔地颤抖,继续舞蹈,在似曾相识的霎那,四周响起一首浪漫而用力的钢琴曲,很远的地方,我站在一片旷地,看着公园的路,所有人都在移动,临近质变,我想遍历所有空间,但隔着异样的距离,根本无法迈出一步,想起那天车来车往,年轻又凶的阳光穿透树叶,车站旁是巨大的电钻和灰尘,争先恐后的人群,想要把一切都排除在外,这种聒噪的幸福感,来自一场耳语,想再找到只能选择在一个布满鬼怪的深夜,全速冲进瀑布,经历源自个人历史之一段危险,在充满雾气的尽头,用一小时面对终将到来的自我审判,一直以来我都是干枯地蜷缩着,但住在潮湿的地方,被水汽滋出油沫,浑身泛出香味,于是总有水蛇来缠绕,也不是到是搏斗了还是拥抱了,反正力气耗尽,我还以为我站着,可能这就是逐渐沉默的理由,沉重的生命力发出低声嗡鸣,它们经过我,从脚后跟到后脑勺,脊背没有任何发凉,就掉进了深渊,也许是因为峭壁亮起了灯,原本无法承载的电压,带来了安详,听起来像是死了,我顶天立地地看着上面,不太确定,无声中躺下,在所有平静表象的缝隙中,有隆隆的条理在运转,现在从何而来?这个漫长的假日,我就此对回忆模糊推演。